It was a beautiful day, perhaps a bit windy. The sun was
shining and the little dirt road wound its way through the mountains. I left my
pack in the car, my ex, her sister and I began the climb up the north side of
Springer. The climb was a touch slower than I thought it would be. My ex
recently had surgery on her back and was excited to be out doing some exercise,
but had to take it easy. We stopped about half way up and they rested there to
wait on me as I ran to the top of the mountain to sign the register.
Most of the shelters
and a few other key points along the trail, have a register. Years ago it was
the best way to keep in touch with your fellow hikers. You could look in the
shelter register and see what the people before you were going through. You could
check to see if any “Southbounders ( SOBO’s)”, had left any tips on the trail
ahead. Most importantly if something were to happen to you, the search party
could keep track of where you last signed in. For the bored hiker with some
spare time they could be a great read, as many of the entries could be quite
entertaining.
Trying to be
conscious of the time I kept a quick pace to the top of the mountain. I met one
of the trail maintainers along the way and we spoke briefly. I remember he had
a pair of gloves that were awesome. They were like driving gloves, with the
fingers cut out, but had a mitt top that would fold over and cover your
fingertips when necessary. My first day on the trail and I was already jealous!
I made it to the first blaze, with many dreams and hopes running through my
mind.
It was late
afternoon when I took a picture of the first white blaze. I made it! I was
finally here, finally on the trail, after so many years, and in a way it scared
the crap out of me. All my worries came to me in a great wave. How am I going
to make it, what is going to happen between here and there? What am I going to
do when I get home, for that matter how am I going to get home? I considered
just giving up the whole idea, being safe and going back to my stable life. I
mean everyone already thought I would quit, why not do it now while I still had
a chance to go home? Some where in the back of my mind, the fighter in me broke
loose, I looked out over the mountain, took a deep breath, and pushed all those
thoughts aside.
The hardest part of
the entire trail was to get started. All the fear, all the worries and
apprehension making you want to give up. The fact that a loved one was still
close and able to take you home right at the forefront of your mind. Everything
that was stable in your life was just a quick car ride away. Ahead of you would
be months of grueling physical work, then you would return to the world without
a job. It makes you feel small, in the scope of the world, but when you make
that choice to go you feel instantly liberated.
A note on mental health for new breast cancer patients can be found HERE
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